Exhaustion
ex·haus·tion/igˈzôsCHən/
Noun:
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Synonyms:
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weariness - fatigue - depletion - lassitude – prostration
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Anyone who knows me and is asked to describe me will use phrases like boundless energy, extraordinarily energetic and at times frenetic….then why is it when I get a phone call from my sister about my mom’s furnace or what is going on with my mom – a 20 minute phone call – I am exhausted?
Dementia, Alzheimer’s disease is not for the weak. And being a long-distance caregiver there are times I feel totally out of control and completely powerless. Long-distance caregivers are on the frontlines that aren’t noticeable. Being support to the primary caregiver, troubleshooting problems, making phone calls to repair folks, doing the legwork that helps my sister, my mom and tons of other stuff. Research and phone calls are my forte.
I used to wake up between 5am and 5:30 without an alarm clock. Not anymore. I set 2 alarms. I hit snooze. For an hour.
And getting to the point of exhaustion keeps it real. I have zero tolerance for drama. I don’t have time for it. Exhaustion reminds me to take the time and do the things to refuel – laugh, sleep, eat healthy and eat the stuff that makes me smile, spend time with friends. Because only when I have refueled can I really be the best for my mom.
And I need to be the best for her. I’m the constant, daily call. The call that reminds her the day of the week, the call that asks her how her day was, the call that shares laughter and hope, the familiar voice on the other end of the phone. I affirm her life, that she matters.
I’m sure taking care of me when I was little was exhausting, and now it’s my turn. And I will handle it the same way she did, with a smile and a nap J